Admit it. Something’s missing from your life.
Look around you, right now. Depressing, isn’t it? Where’s the fun? Where’s the joy, the love, the little flecks of color and light that make you realize your grim daily slog is worth it? Do you really want to spend another night in your apartment or home, just sitting in a pile of soiled laundry, cutting yourself just so you’ll feel something, anything?
Of course you don’t. That’s why you need to build your very own STAND-UP VIDEO ARCADE MACHINE!
That’s it! That’s the secret, known by every convenience store and craphole pizza joint across the world, to making your environment a heptillion times more fun! No more painful silence and darkness! Give your home a focus for fun, for excitement, for quarters! Give the teens you lure into your home something to do! It’ll be great!
And the best part is, this is the best time in history to make your own arcade machine! The digital TV switchover will make CRT TVs available for free on every curbside, and old PCs are yours for the asking. So come down and see how you, with a shockingly small investment, can make your own customized arcade machine that plays thousands of classic games or custom, brand new ones!
Hot damn! Things are finally starting to look up!